0: My хазбен Вокин киссинг Хиз мистерес нот ноуинг ай филд зе хаус виз а whole family for the супрайз партии i spend a mount билдинг фо хим май хазбен гот the promotion, he чей фор Найн еарс энд фор э мант ай тредите лайк a mission, хит гроун апп бин толд бай Хиз он фазер.

1: He never amount to anything, so becoming ориджинал, директор ввозин, джаст э тайбл ту хим и was proof that thing he been tryin to Эрнс энд хи воз э бой со i plant to супрайз эта хаус Колдин фэмили и mothers flight and spend the hall day, претендинг май хэндс Ван шейкинг бай найт.

2: The living room was dark and holding its пресс y thought, the worst thing that could go wrong воз самван Накин, овер зе Шейн тауэр, ай воз ронг май нейм из риа энд айм Теллин ю зис зе Вэй ай текло френд он the phone at midnight бикоз зе Полиш version of this story makes me feel like im.

3: To you i was in my early thirties энд ай спент мост у my долт лайф, лернинг хау ту мейк май селф Смоллер, эраунд зе мэн ху тук апп ол the room in every спейс хи entered ви live in the house his grand father left behind the one that ended up in his mothers name after all the pepper ворк салд соу дэйд.

4: Its like hours, even though an paper, it never once was that little detail is going to later анфоченетли ай plan to this party the way people plan a tiny этинг зей киип свиринг зей ан плэнинг, ай хэд лист, он my phone стики ноутс, стак ту, the inside of the пентри.

5: Reminder that best at the most in convenient ймс, южели вэлл, ай воз, мид конверсейшен виз хим энд хэт ту слэп май phone фейс даун лайк, a criminal i made a guest list that was mostly фэмили эн a few, close friends, the people we always are around the holidays the people who still.

6: When he called even after he been short with them for weeks, i as a friend to plays guitar to come do some quiet background music and then i act about it for two days, because i hit been the centre of anything and аперел ай мед, the man who consider этеншен Хиз натурал, хабитат ай.

7: Decorations from one of those дженерик партии сайтс, нафинг, фэнси, джаст, оо string lights and a banner and balloons in the deep blue here like i, pick, the cake after скроллинг тру соу мени, фотоус, зэт ай, старт d, dreaming in батек им the begin the thing i was.

8: Wiley в was getting his mother to come she live two states away, and travelling was in her words a whole ordeals из she always made it sounds like the universe хэд персоналии, инсол бай реквайринг эрпорт энд шуз ши най гот элон.

9: If they like to people can fall sting сайлент Ван стил ай ай не flight i found someone to pick up from the port and everytime she said down the phone i because i wanted my husband to have.

10: А in the room when he finally got that sings, his father said, he never worked also онесли би i this race to keep the peace and im still learning Ван сало. А the time the morning of the party i act like it with just another saturday овер кофи ай менее i might свинг бай май.

11: Stat ивнинг кэжуал лайк l had spend the привьюс, найт, хайдинг, форти balloons and a case of pain behind the winter, кос ин зе спи, май Хасен бели н а from the phone he made this little sounds not really реплай джаст э лоу хам мэн Шор вотэвэр.

12: And i told my self he was distracted because work it been so intensely хи бин staying late for weeks камминг хоум мэллинг лайк, офис, air condition and energy drinks олвэйс сен хи воз, андерперформанс, дисижн каминг даун, Сун, ай белив хим бикоз, ит фит зе стори, ай вонтид ту би Ливин.

13: For all of this, if you ask me to describe a marriage, i have said five in the way people say five then, they don't want to look to close энисинг бай зе ви бин мэид Найн, еарс лонгин, аф зет пипл э сумм, ви вер, солед ивен вен зе трус, вас we were just the.

14: We want one of those каплс ху фат лауд ли and posted сепии anniversary бат ви ворон the here like routine хи лайк ту контрол хи лайк синкс зет мэйк хим лук Фром зе аутсайд лайк a man who had it all хендел ай love him, but i also.

15: Earth эдитинг май селф around his moods believing that if i use the white tone it the right moment i could keep everything муд спойлер ю can art keep the peace with someone who treats пис лайк a praise you have to keep риори, вэн ви ферст, гат мерит, ай со партнершип, менше дримс.

16: I like shit аксесс ит стартед смол ли about what i bought jokes about my spending the во рили джокс с that we combined олл ар аккаунтс ту мейк баджет н сэмплер зен ит вали стоп ту би ин саджесте хи сад reviewing стейтмент коллин ма.

17: Choice impossible in any пуш бэк эс ми бин респонсибл виз а future so i стренк ту кип синс ком i told myself it with just normal compromise that marriage was work that love мент джастин ай хир нау хау практис зато саундс иф ю.

18: He got more intense эбаут прувинг химселф эбаут зэ промоушен about not ending up in his words ординари Хиз фазер, хэд энд Хиз холл чайлд telling him he is soft that he never lied anything and even after his father passed май хазбин, кэпт аргуин виз your dead man he could never win агенств, т.

19: Around when the темперери айдиа шот апп хи said, if i quit my job and ran the house he could фокус клайм фастер лэнде, директор ролл энд then we both be said he made it sound like we were both sacrificing фо э шерт фьючер, бат рили ит воз ми sacrificing соу Хиз лайф куд Фил биг.

20: I said, i do it for a year, then it became джаст и till this рестран финишёр зенит бикейм ви кэн ту форт фри старт овер райт нау эксепт её no kids no real reason there with just me at home трайин ту мейк май он live, а so he could feel лаутер энд лук.

21: Im not going to pretend, i was сам фитом, ай гот презенту, ай гот сниппи, ай гот клини, энн вэйс, зет embarrassing, вен ввёл y was doing them, i ask em to come, home earlier, and then hate myself the second the words left my mouth, for sounding, ниди ай, пик, файтс, эбаут, нафинг би.

22: Cause i didnt know how to say the normal since this out crying самате, ну, i do deep clean the entire house, like and and and then, when he and didnt know is i get this wild эрж ту флинг э спандж эт the back of и heard i never did but the.

23: Leaving my rent free the yelling, апп ту the party here n not just here about how he look in a way. He hung, бефор, нью шортс, оо дифферент колонн, ай диднт айс стенли, remembering to black и start taking all out on the back.

24: Да, hi, тилт, иис, фо эвэй, фо ми лайк, it with pure instinct, иф ай аск ту хи из текстинг, хи сэй, ворк, ай have second to fast like a kid k with his hand and something Ван айка, глимс оф Хиз скрин энд со a little heart next to a name, i didnt know and then.

25: Has he laughed, and set it was an inside joke from the office i wanna to believe that so badly that i made myself alone with him, the worst part is that i did have the feeling that quiet и le филин бат эвритайм, ит серфес, ай толк, май, селф, бэк даун.

26: Because confronting хим Рискин зе на life, i built around him, and i wasn't ready to eat meat i built my hall стабилити он top of a person, who could it out from under me than ever he wanted by late after нюн, а house look like it had свало де селебрейшен холл ай пуш.

27: Was i said out ей фуд i lined up дринкс элонг зе Кичин, Каннер энд ай кэп чекинг, май phone like it with going to be трей ми эт энид бай флашинг супрайз ру a cross the screen people are arriving эраунд сикс слипинг и whispering and grinning

28: Э. Долтс у where they try to bee stealth and somehow бикам фри таймс, а someone id drop to toy car and the кладер sounded like a gun shot in the hash эвриван фроуз, зен лафт, Вэй ту харт my heart was doing this редикюле sprinting лайк ит Ван топ билли.

29: We turned off the lights and waiting the house filled up with that strange дарк фулл оф бодис холдинг зе бред silence the kind were you can hear someone стамик грау фромм, э кросс, the room, i студии the entry Вэй май фингер, стики because i try to fix a tiny смач, он the cakes эд.

30: And the wars and i кэп пикчер, инг май ханс фейс вэн хи, он and so everyone i picture him smiling, мэйби и getting a little мисти зис proud man finally been celebrated by the people who love him for a seen his father for he never do and for Ван.

31: Vo second i let myself imagine that the next year of a marriage would be lighter софтер лайк, ви вер, файнали, тернинг, сам корнер, тугезер, ай воз э, дорал, ай, дженни вант ту, рич бэк in time and slap, пасс ми, the grudge до рамболд, энд май, холл, бадди пул тайт лайк, a string.

32: Too far i heard a car door shut i heard voices маф Клоус энд э лафф ввозин из the front door сванг оупен энд эвриван Хайтин энд шаут ит супрайз энд the lights снапо лайк э спата хитинг э стэйдж энд the he was свен ли тай?

33: Color and done looking like in the last hour лузинг э flow faith with gravity лэйтер хи вуд the here i may he was to dawn to think straight it she was the one who capped висперинг джаст гоу in its five nobody's home his arm.

34: Around the woman i didnt know the off to call энисинг эксепт зе вумен эксепт ай дид но technically she work him джуниор элис, он hi tim she had that younger Полиш лук хер перфект мейк ап интакт лайк ши невер вонт край inn to a bar.

35: Wondering how he live it got so small, and they were kissing нот нот там fall and confidence лайк зе хоул ворлд Бо ту the two of them and know existed there sound that feel the room воин у scream or a gas it в silence.

36: The kind of silence that has weight that lends, он you someone кофт самван, а love pure нерв n чокет ИНН ту and оквард виз ай со Хиз Мазер ин the crowd, her her flying up over her out, her айс гоуин вайт ИНН a way that мейхер лук садденли мач олдер ай со.

37: Friends people we had dinner with people who help зас кэрри аут оф зе стс стринг лайк зей н а once i saw my он hed still holding, the serving найт Файт пик ап ту кат зе cake and for a second i understand why people say, they сорд донт ворри, ай диднт айм драматик нота.

38: My хазбин под back fist, Блинкин лайк хи джаст, ремембер, гравити воз э рул, зе вуменс, липстик, виз смит, смайл, flickering and she realize this was an сам праве момент she got to control his eyes свэп зе рум confused and then they landed on his mother and his whole.

39: Face this офл, шифт, лайк, супрайз, корделин, стрейт ИНН ту a night like we all caught him doing something майли embarrassing that he now have to manage his mother stood up so fast, to skip to cross the floor. What is this she said not really a question more like a.

40: Be read what are you doing? My хазбин экс тру, his nose. The way he did when i аст им to take out, the trash here лукет ми n for Ван ступед секонд ай сорт и with about to say something human самвен офф о гад, вот a i dent and steady сэд вэл зис из.

41: The women try to smooth down, her dress her eyes, дартинг эраунд зе рум, and i know this she was catching хер стамик лайк a shield, май ха стэйт, он he вэйст протектив, олмост прауд, зе humiliation, хит ми соу хард тёрн, физикал хи кроллинг от my н.

42: My ears i heard my он voice бифор ай фоли decided to use it why she hear my voice came out c, then i felt вич анесли воз э смол мерикалов, инсайд ай воз э блендер раннинг э фул спид вай вуд ю бринг ин ту а house he блинг тет ми i didnt play in that he said.

43: Like that was the crime being дискасс ноу ай снап ай дид энд the couple of people экшели Винс зет хау флад и came out i planned your party i planned your flight i pick out the cake i plan every single detail, бикоз ай тот this was going to be the best nights of your life he look past me.

44: At the string lights the food, the banner, виз, Хиз нейм нет, and then back it me and i swear to you here look, тёте лайк май ман оф e was in convenience in the door than he dude that thing that broke вотэвер ласт пис оф ми стил, ванит ту белив зис куд сам.

45: How be first he shrugged, энд хи said im tired of pretending i heard a few people Сакин э Бресс Хиз Мазер мэйд э саунд лайк ши куд дисайд в the cry or lean and my хазбен кэпт гоуинг бикоз Ван хи стартед ит воз like a speech he already Рехерт ин Хиз хэд ззе кай.

46: Lets a person Фил райчес ввёл зей сэд файер ту самван ИНН фран оо a crowd i been thinking about this for a long time, he said world slow and this алкогол энд зис, террибл конфиденс, май хоул лайф, ай бин чейсинг самфинг to make me feel like enough i finally got it today and i.

47: Of it and realize i don't wanna spend the rest of my life in something, that makes me feel like im in im not doing it anymore i sit him, so you got your promotion is after noon, i said, and my love came out шарп олмост э. Berk and you decided that reward was cheating on me.

48: Friend of your mother here ролл дизайс im not doing this to hurt you im just choosing what feels real the woman, бисайд хим, лифт и teen like she was proud to be his real thing she look at me with this tiny smile that was and even a little sorry his mother to a трэмплинг, степ, форвард, ю а хью.

49: Life she said in front of everyone in my husbands хаус май хабенс джо, а its not your house, he said ли and then ill because people were watching and corrected in to i mean its family, its mine to his mothers eyes and i.

50: Something шифт сам and danger, but i dont have the space to because my brain had locked Ван импосибл факт хи воз, конфиг ту, ИНН, ИНН фрон, а friends and like a акт о very like he was the tragic hero эскейпинг н мэридж.

51: And i was the boring i felt my hands move before my dignity ка m. I pick up the cake the whole cake to hands full хэви зе фростинг, софт, оно my fingers the wars Ван клир момент, the my brain скрим, донт энд, my anger скрим.

52: Do it louder and i did it i shot the cake форвард стрейт ИНН ту Хиз част энд Хиз фэйс энд зе фрасин берст, а like an абсерд шугари бам ит гоин и her down his shirt a cross Ван чик ит кот, the woman to molly хе шолдер энд the size of her dress сам.

53: The back let out Ван шот парк флаф н. А to i blame them is my marriage, май вай фастин, но what is wrong with you i?

54: Whats wrong with me? I repeated my voice, шейкинг нау you just kiss your мистерс энд френд оф, её mother and you want to ask me whats wrong with me. His mother said that woman's нейм квали лайк ши куднт белив зе syllables вер ливинг хаус the women's face went red and not from the key.

55: From being thin she try to step back but my husband полтер ИНН Клоус, эген донт колл зэт хи снапи, он mother like she was the one being rude and that's when his mothers voice when called in a way i never heard from her ghost ши толд хим клинер селф апп, and then you going to explain.

56: Tu me why you so you could bring this in to the house u grand father left behind my husband лук лайк хи Ван ту арг ю, but i also look имеет n am has always been his лист фейвер филинг ин зе ворлд соу хи сторм апп зе с the woman stood её this фростинг слайдинг слоули, да.

57: Арм хор айс хью and the холл рум салт лайк a court room where the verdict тед олреди бин ритн ай ворк то without deciding to my feet felt хэви май фейс бернинг, ай тук холд оф арм нот, джентли энд тарид пулинг зе дор аут ай сэд ши.

58: Там back dont touch me she снэп лайк ши хэд рэйт, он my living room, you can just хэндс, он me his mother stef апп сайд ми фаст ю хэв сам нерв ши сэд ту the woman her voice, клайминг камин хир Вокин ин ту these families хоум зе вуменс, айс фликт овер хер зэн бэк ту ми.

59: And here hold up at the corner мэйби хи брод ми хи экшели, вонтс ми ши сэд энд зе вордс, лэндид лайк, a slap мэйби хииси энд ши глэнс эраунд зе decorations the py and cake the фроуз энд гас вот эвер олл оф зис из i felt my whole.

60: Body got my стамик флит овер. Вот over this is i repeated лафин виз абсолютли ноу хью ю и sleeping a way through she шраг энд зис из the part that still makes my blood boil вен iii remember it she шраг дед ми лайк l was a.

61: И bump in to the best stop here чоу ми ши сэд ю кэн актис крэйзи из you wont he still living you i dont remember deciding to slayer i remember my hand реди мувинг зе шарп-ка in the дорвэй, зе вей, хер хед тернд энд хер айз н the room, рапте.

62: Not Ширинг нот шадинг джаст, а everyone talking over everyone самван сей, май, нейм лайк нейминг ми в stop me his mother, экшели у forward, like she might do something worth your yourself in heart, he shaking сайдс зе вумен просто.

63: Чикен хист, айм гоинг ту су ю ши третен ту колл зе полис райт зен Лаудин аф фо зе холл рум ту хир бат ши диднт экшели ду ит ай синк ивен ин зэт момент she андерстент вид happen if офисе шоуд апп and started asking questions, statements and a fall паблик.

64: Of why my husbands джуниор, элист, виз стэндин ин Хиз мазерс, дорвэй виз кейк он ха дресс ши вонтид левередж от э Салей, Хиз Мазер лафт шорт энд биттер гуд лак виз зэт ши сэд ю нид ит май хасбенд стамп бэк даун ИНН a fresh shot his her дэмп Фром зе синк.

65: His face red with фьюри хи толк Ван лук at the woman holding, her cheek and snap to протектив, мод лайк, ши воз би онли, вундед персон ин зе рум, ю хи хи шоута, ми i did, i said and the calm and my он voice супрайз ивен ми ши колд, май мэридж вот эвер зис из.

66: Дорвей хи и me like i was a danger. Stranger you unstable хи said лауд and of for everyone this is экзакли вай айм дан this is what i've been dealing with i wanna to scream i wanna to throw something else i wanna to reach back through Найн еарс энд невер Мери хим ин зе ферст.

67: Instead, i just to the frosty in my h. K. Крамс, даун май шет энд ай андерстент хи воз дуинг зис. Он purpose he was building a store right of everyone one where i was a problem and he was a brave man finally.

68: И the turn to him her voice trembling ю вей интелл Ван найт эмили в in this room she said you did this an пёс you wanted and dance my hand dont he said, протеин this is about you шик.

69: The woman talk on my husband, слив n whispered something and he, но id like she with the one calling the shots. Зен хи супрайз ми бай вокинг овер ту the base of the stairs and граббинг э дофл бэк i had and seen before one he must в pact and loft in the car than scary in it сампой из it was already зип.

70: Waiting here слонг от over his shoulder, like a man, catching or flight нот, a husband leaving his wife, im not staying here tonight, he said, and he said like he was doing my фейвер Вилл толк, вен ю колм даун ай лав эген бикоз вот else to you do when the person who just торч её live and everyone you know?

71: Tell you that come down don't и i said лоу, а become a b come in a way. You have never want sing for me his mother stef битвин ас. And for the first time all night she look to directly out my really looked like she was finally seeing me everyone, needs to go home на

72: И loud Шейкин сенкью оо for coming i'm so sorry. Please, please, just go people in slow wave of venus мемери эполоджис Тачин май арм, он the way like a los my friend with the eater the оо.

73: Have open и having no idea whether to disappear a play something, and then he slipped out to eyes down like non us could blame him for Ван ту претенд, хи хэ син эни афтер зе ласт Карл оф the driveway, май phone started, Базин лайк, it had a personal градж агентств ми.

74: Missed calls people standing are you, ok as if that can мент энифинг вен её live a dust n' split open in your own дорвэй ай берили слэп ай Лэй, он the coach of the ceiling и playing the lights напин он the kiss the faces, май он хэндс драйвин.

75: Take in to из част лайк it with the only language, my body had left the next morning i woke up халлоу лайк, май брэйн, виз стил, стэндинг, ИНН зат энтриуешься, лайк шугер, зе ливинг рум, смел лайк флад, champagne and disaster белинс хэд дрифтит ин ту зе корнерс овернайт.

76: Like little bright ghosts i tried calling my, он mother because he перенли ай стил дефолт ту колл мамин э крайсис ивен ноу май Мазер энд ай have never heard that soft конфетин кайнд оф релейшеншип ши пик апп, он the second ring and i taller Чокин, он the words, he чидит хи Бо.

77: Info of everyone there was a ha, and then my mother said like i just ai se ка нидид энн о change well, she said, you should lie i see o, i him, i whispered you у e the man she said like that fur was a footnote эн зе.

78: The headlines and dont forgive that kind of thing i hung up this out saying, goodbye i start the in the quiet ливинг рум, and relies самсинг англии, and, through my marriage, was the only place i been трейн ту свало май, он, филингс ту кип Азер пипл кантрил за was bigger than him that was my whole life the next day my.

79: Long text about a and not making a decisions and Онери май вас n i could even read it without my king, i were to be angry for me i wonder to say things you deserve so much more than this instant лайк май джаз ту кип.

80: The man who it rd лэфт, зэтс вен ай decided i was done asking for support from people who only over it, if i perform to the right way first i don't tell his mother about that phone call not then i kept it to my self for days, because i don't want a poison the only real support i had.

81: The reminder that even my own family the blame me and blame him so i salad again, and pretended i was find the to we stepped over блин, стрингс энд с фростинг оф the walls, and the mess with jenny анриал кейк граунд ин ту зе г и.

82: Switches, стики, футпринт, тракт, фру зе холл бикоз, самбади хэд Степин ит энд then work around i scrub in scrub because i need it something physical to do something, i could экшли контрол, Хиз Мазер, кэп граббинг, фрэш, пеппер, тауэлс, энд Мазеин, анбеливебл, андеррай.

83: He was trying to a raise the whole night through шир старне, а one point i found, my husband, ватин бэнд ин the bathroom, синк ай джаст стеатит ситтинг зе ИНН a little part of water and for хаве секонд, ай фелт, зис шарп, ступед, фликер, оф хоуп, лайк, мейби хи лафти, бай аксидент энд вид кам.

84: Back for it he шейндел, ай риалайз хи пробабли Тейкин ит. О before he even worked in to the house, because wings have never want stop the person who wants to чит i pick it up Драйд ет энд пут ит ин э дор, ай диднт фроу, ит аут ай вознт реди ту би зэт файнал, зэт афтер нун Хиз Мазер гота кол.

85: From him and she put it on speaker because she was done protecting him, he said he wanna to talk things out and his voice, have this come fake ризнал тон лайк хи воз вокинг, то contract he said i need it to control myself and apologize for the salt and my стамик твистед.

86: As his mother when she was flying home like he was just checking his on casual Хиз, а the phone лайк и в guard, and said im not leaving her alone he got, and then he said so you win ес ши сэд соу бантли ай оо im choosing the person.

87: Didnt set fire to the family in my living room, he hung up on her like a teenager a grown man a brand new original директор hang up on his mother because she wouldn't валидейт Хиз betrayal that next morning his mother was already up when i drug май селф оф the coach ситтинг эт the kitchen table.

88: The cup of coffee and the tq лук ши gates when she decided самфинг энд итс фоли пропед фо зе ворлд ту argue we about it, she sweet peace of paper кросс the table торд ми итс э лис ши сэд ай стеатит э лис э рентал эгримент ши corrected лайк зэ во.

89: And i would soon learn that we're the wording олвейс, матёр юр гоинг ту би этен хир офишали он paper иф ю эта to claim your тапаси хи кэнт иф ю эвер трайс ту хэв ю phone out here cant my hands, шок, эз ай рэд ит нот бикоз ит воз complicated but because.

90: Real it was hurt, тернинг э дисижен ИНН ту самсинг и down something much harder to undo а ю Шор ай аск май войс как this is going to make him ill she took a slow сип оф кофи лайк ши к дринк фри, фор брэкфест м би фьюриес.

91: She said his ПИН комфри фор фар ту лонг ви дроу ту a small локал офис the lawyer that behind the desk and explained everything in plain terms and i not eat like i was following ивен зоо май брейн кэп дрифтинг бэк ту. The image of my хаппенс кейт кавер faith the lawyer has me the basic the.

92: What i did for work how long we been married? Везер, зево, чилдрен энд эври, энсер сел лайк ридинг аут энд инвентори, оф май. Он live when i met ид. I was and working for time any more he рейс из i браус ин the polite way people do when they really thinking something.

93: Thats going to come in a little he said, i got defensive лайк l had to dust art, and breathe out it me the time he just not like he heard that exact сентенс н таймс before he probably had his mother кэп джампинг ин ту мэйк зе хаус хистори крис.

94: So clear she wanted. No confusion about who the property белонг ту she said it with that фарм тон зет дазнт лив рум фо дебейт энд ай вотч зе лоерс пэн старт мувинг фастер лайк хи виззини олрайт зис парт из clean for we left he told me that.

95: Save the messages, кип э, таймлайн, зе кайнд, оф эдвайс, зет мэйкс, ю, филл лайк ер on line has become a case file i hate it, but i also knew my husband was экзакли, зе тайп, ту рирайт, э стори, иф ю game, a room to do it and so i started i made a folder on my lap top дам скрин.

96: Shot in to at row dates and a little ноутбук нот Бо ай вонт а drama but i no longer trusted him not to invent сам back at the house, his mother insisted we change the locks, and for once i didnt feel imposing эт бикоз зе лойер хэд толд ас ту трит зе хаус эз э.

97: Вот лигали вас хер проперти нот Хиз entitlement, зе лоер драфтит э симпл рит нотес зэт Хиз аксесс воз ревоук энд зет эни комьюникейшн эбаут Хиз Болонин вид гоу фру console then we call a лаксми э тайрд мэн ху шоут апп свап аут зе локс энд диднт аск.

98: Single question, which i appreciate it more than i can say when he handed me the new keys, i grip to them too tightly лайк метал куд, сам хау кип my safe that night, i couldnt sleep, no because i missed him, but because my brain кэпт, лупинг, зе партии, лайк э хайлайт, риал и refused.

99: Shard of every time, i close my eyes, i saw лайт сэпин, он the kiss the four faces i kept wandering вот people were they felt sorry for me or secretly камин ай и that i cat but human is seen.

100: To you so i got up at three in the morning опен, у my lap top and started a плайн, фо джабс, лайк май лайф, depended on it because it did i filled out, аппликейшен энд май, пижамас, виз э магов, кол t going колдер, бисайд ми тайпинг, аут май, олд экспириенс, виз шейкинг, эс траинг ту экспл.

101: The gaps with out, sounding тик i been out of my field лонгин оф зэт май Разумей, лук, лайк it it gone in to хайней, ай Вона ту скрим ит хим лук. Вот you did, but he was there and that was экзакли зе поинт хи ласту ми ту Клин ап зе consequence of choices here пуш ми inn to your.

102: His mother found me at the table the next morning and just thing that дорвэй вотчин ми the scream you dont have to fix a night she said, джентли, ай лафт экзастоз, ай донт ху. Ввёл, ай сэд энд май войс Крат хи вонт май с want its my.

103: She came over and squeeze my shoulder, then will do it step i step ши сэд энд самфинг ин ми лусент джаст лайтли, но everything was ok, but because for the first time someone was standing next to me, saying. You dont have to do this alone over the next couple of weeks из mother and i party since.

104: I expected, to feel devastated лайк l was a raising хим Фром зе хаус, бат инстэд ай фелт зис оо i got bars from the garage i folded хис clouds, this that kind of angry пресижн ай фаунд рэндом pieces of a life in his джосс олеси тикет.

105: Socks with no matches and i пакт ловит энивэй his mother work to beside me quiet, but presents and every so after she mother something like an боливал ор ай ду нот рейс им like this and i could tell she with Гривин ту нот джаст фо май мердж Батт фо зе.

106: A song was by the end of the weeknd the boxes were старт a long the front porch из mother Ван и handel cleanly со the lawyer and basic с he had a short window to come коллектив Болонин and after that what ever happened to the boxes was on him i check the weather set на

107: And so rain in the forecast, it of it i look тут the boxes and had one small human момент were i start, i should probably драг зем андер зе аннинг оо im not a monster зен ай ремембер хим коллинг ми анстейбл ИНН фронт оф а friends, Теллин эвриван, ай воз зе Ризон.

108: And my кайес эйтед, он the spot соу ай love them, i loft hall live ситтинг аут и bird like a warning из mother рейнж фо э капл оф симпл, секьюрити камерс ту би инстолл Нафин фэнси джаст энаф ту рекорд, иф ю decided to do something?

109: I hate it that we even have to think that way i hate it even more that part of my folly экспект ид хим ту a week past the others and in the time my хазбен, сент скан оф, месседжес, зэтс Ван wildly, битвин, колд энд драматик, Ван мне it was we need to be эдос эбаут зис.

110: The next it was you destroyed my life as if he had and stroke the match in self the woman, set me экзакли Ван месседж, элонг Ван и with self righteous and faik, консерн, лайк, ши, воз, дуинг, ми, a, keine бай, Тейкин и of my hands i didnt reply i set with my heart а.

111: And then, i blocked the day, he came back, i was sitting on the living room, floor, эраунд ит бай, пёр ворк бикоз, ай файл, the divorce процесс, and my fingers were stained with ink, Фром, филинг аут, формс зе камера, апп, он, my phone, пинкт энд май, стамик, драпт, бифор ай.

112: Looked there he was in the driveway, степпинг аут оф the car like he still on to the ground under id the woman бисайд хим, ИНН сан глассес, армс кросс гоинг фор а base he woke up to the door and try his old к try again harder than н, the break forth вуд.

113: The lox вен и it work he knocked пола it first and then the knocks, тернд ин зе Пандин ай диднт move i just watch through the кемра, май харт, слэмминг, энд ай риалайз, самсинг, зэт стэд ид ми i didnt have to open the door i dont have to face him on his термс ин май он home i.

114: Ill talk through the camera вот ю дуинг ай аст энд my voice came out, come, which was honestly that most ф. The in he had апп с by the sound of me coming out of the little, спикер опен зе дор хи деменде зис из dick you here i.

115: Again, i won and i won him to say out out here скафт ту гет май n to tell you that you need to be out by Вика гивен, ю тайм, ай джаст л ю, донт гив ми anything i said, you laughed.

116: Remember this year ролл френд ИНН phone of your mother and throne of everyone we know the woman said him, ролл ер, айз соу хард ай от through the кемро гад ши мед. And even through the тени dior it sounded like she was экзос ед бай the concept of my being a person may хабен.

117: The camera and find the porch, the boxes the rain had already камин гон энд the car was world and sun not интесен бат интерфери.

118: Вот that he shout it, you, i said, you should probably for the next to here you did this on purpose, he said, yeah i said, and it felt good to meet i did he слэм систе.

119: You cant keep me out of here here all this is my house, its not i said Кипин май войс, левел бикоз, ай рефьюз ту гив им. The suction оф хиринг ми шейк ит belongs to your mother, and i have a saint ли you got it know is that your access was ревоукд иф ю кип паудин, он that door?

120: I'm calling the police to report a дистрибе хи фроуз лайк из брейн нид и the second to catch up then, he полд ат ис phone and called his mother right there on my porch пейсинг бэк энд форт лайк a kid раннинг ту таттл ай Кудин хир х сайт bad i could watch is expression, фол тру the stages.

121: Confident and confused the angry, than small he said, what you mean you sign your lies with and then are you serious right now do this to me, and he or just listen the woman we something to him.

122: Probably telling him that came down, but he was never billed for come he kick one of the box and a collapse. Спиллинг дэ Клоус э кросс the porch хи кик туазе хи стартед флинни фингс ин ту the air like a tent was going to reverse the paper work a neighbor, he crossed the street c out on to his он порч.

123: Phone up not settle нот ренин, джаст филминг, май хэппенс с stop, мид кик, част Хивин зе нейбор, колд аут тайм ту гоу мэн энд the woman, лук mortified Тагин, май хасбенд, слив битвин, май до camera and the neighbours фон зе холл, синг воз олреди.

124: So i didnt call the police public империмет with doing the job just fine, and i refuse to him another version of events were he got to claim i over reacted he let the little камер бай the door like he wanted to put it first to eat you enjoying this he hast im сервайвинг.

125: I said and my voice, when a little softer нот because i felt sorry for him, but because the truth this heavy in my mouth there s a different between the two he shoved the saga сингс бэк ин ту зе брокен, boxes материн курсес вал зе вумен студ виз хер армс краст лайк ши воз вейтинг фор ин.

126: To finish loading горис хи кренд everything in to the trunk слэммит энд бефор, геттинг ИНН хи лин зе Кэмран ласт тайм зис из and other he said, i look at the scream it is for me. I said квали энд энд ит the call after that my фонд бикейм элен фоф месседжес.

127: Voice mails from him from her sometimes even from relatives, who hurt my side to the great файн энд decided the opinions вор орджен пипл лав хэвинг, опинионс, вен зей арт the ones, crying on the bathroom floor two in the morning the woman лафт у voice message коллинг ми пэтти.

128: Which may хазбен лефт Ван вер хи трай ту саунд чарминг, агент like he could still talk me in two been risen, and then another where he sounded like he дженни хейтит ми i block to them both more перминал зис тайм, э вик лэйтер, ай чейндж май намбер, ИНН тайри бикоз ай воз тайёр оф.

129: Time, my up the quiet алло, возн пис ит воз нанёс ай вейк ап мейк кофи оо end the remember right, my husband, дед нейдёт, Амриддин фромм э эвриван энд Блейм ми фо зе бласт энд ай Фил сик оо other again someday, i.

130: Eight other days, i ate what ever with easy c just to keep my body moving i cried when i have the energy and i cat фанкшн вен, ай диднт бикоз, ай хэд ту, a few days later, i sad at the hitch and table with my lap top open and did something i been Серкин синс зе найт оф the party but.

131: I dont want to be the crazy ex i row in email to his company human is n i t, the black screen for a long time n e tape again и again i thinking if i send the hill сейм введите.

132: So everyone i try to and his career out of spite, and then another art of me this answer here and it his own career the moment he started sleeping with someone, who reported директли ту эм хи, джаст, дазнт, вонт зе consequences, so i wrote it i wrote that my husband had been involved in a релейшен шип виз зэ джуно.

133: Number of heathen тим ай Роут зет зей хэд бродит ИНН ту a home and exposed it publicly ИНН phone of дазенс оф витнесс ай вот the dates i knew the events i remembered the lights хит come home late this экскьюзе зет нау саунд ед painful ступед ай кэптен фактал.

134: Just ai and like i my app for weekend i i the same great wine эвриван зей, донт ю зет и plane live зейтун.

135: People полежал аст эбаут, промоушенс энд э вальюэйшн, and suddenly a whole pile of little воркс, эвриван хэд квали, но and ignored the being спокинуть е room with a door, the clothes, he тунайт, д ofcourse, she play dumb, but the more they dug the ugly.

136: Echo was someone who always been френдли холлидей партиис сэд ми a short kerfuffle месседж зет бейсиклабораторная, диднт Фил. Виктор, ай сел. А like i just lift it something in норме энд май.

137: Arms were still shaking from it over the following weeks мор триклин ту the same network that had fed on my humiliation и other people had complains to перенли the woman had been getting спешл тритмент Фром мантс зе изи аккаунтс, зе Беттер ревьюс зе flexible hours ноубади, элгад.

138: People had no est пипл хэд бин квали, annoyed зей джаст хэдин ха э Ризон ту сэй ит аут лауд and now i hate that part онесли ай хейт зет май проект катастрофик бикейм э convenient дор фор Азер пиплс гривенс бат ай олсоу куд ипотен диднт матёр бикоз.

139: Work and just a knowing its journey of everyone doing the job that honest Вэй энд ес айм a i sound like a teacher its still true about six weeks, after i sent the имел Ван и коворкер текст тут me two words his аут, май, стамик, Драп, нот, бикоз.

140: I for him, but because i know экзакли вот he do next Шурин аф Хиз Мазер, колд зэт ивнинг энд сэд хи дорди скрим её her about being i like eat something that had been done to him rather than the direct result of his он mass he got let go, she told me and he train.

141: Fall. I whisper he going to blame me his mothers voice when called at him, she said he need someone to blame here the idea that he did this to himself the divorce ед. Селф воз итс он slow night not драматик, эн a movie they just экзост ИНН.

142: I hire a lawyer, because i wasnt about to be out man were by a man who already proven, he хаппеле рирайт, реалити Ван и suit him, he hired Ван ту, and for a while it was like the layers were the ones экшели, мерид сэндинг, имелс schedule митинг гошти вай.

143: On the couch филинг лайк a guest in my on line here try to make the slap in to a huge thing of course he try to rewrite the whole story publicly to not in some кэндлера ин the car everyday карвэй telling people we simply гроун эпарт за i become difficult.

144: That the woman was just someone who understood him better one over фрэндс зе Ван ху олвейс трайс ту стэй neutral колд ми n sad his теллинг пипл ю ту вер ан хэппи фор ерс ай олмост лафт бикоз ес ви вер ан хэппи джаст нот ин зе ньют респект фол Вэй хи воз.

145: Standing he was on happy because i existed э a person this needs of my он i was on happy because i been стринки фор зе Беттер парт оф э декейд, зэт phone call сет самсинг офин ми энд ай ди синк ай регрет ай он блоки Фомин энд сент месседж нот a come one not a меор Ван.

146: Something like стоп lying about me with a few extra word, i wont repeat her because they where огли ай хэд сэнд энд май стамик, драпт, бикоз, ай но инстантли, ай как the door, back опен хи replied виз ИНН секондс, лайк хи бин Ситин зер, вэйтинг си he wrote this is what i mean you're out of control.

147: I start the screen and felt this heart wave of shame he was right about Ван in that exact moment i was of control i was i was wounded, i want to buy and he just поссали зе вей ай но и ввод c evidence that i was a real problem.

148: All along i block to again, and sad in my car in e grocery store, паркинг, crying so hard my chest эйк бикоз, ай хэйт зет ай и him, эмини вэн, ай толд, май лойер, хи диднт, сколд ми бат хи гейв ми зет лук that please stop doing that look don't.

149: Communicate with him, directly he said let everything go through каунсл энд ай нот ид вайпинг, май фэйс лайк, a kid we did Ван mediation, сашен зе кайн ве ю сет ИНН. A small room with a медиатр ху токс ин the gentle ивен войс off someone train to break up a fight a a дейкер.

150: My x shot up with the woman вэйтинг аут н the hallway вич фэлт лайк э деливеред инсалт ай сахар тру the glass and she сморк вен ши коот май i like she was proud to be part of a process that shoot ive been битвин ми энд май хас бин элоун ай вонт ту сторм аут ай Вона ту флип зе тэйбл.

151: Instead, i folded my hands and pretended i was shaking the медиатр ас ass to talk about a goals, and my ex sad his goal was a fur сплит энд мувинг, форвард писули хи said, it in that came reasonably. Вот всауне соу convincing ту эни Ван ху хэд.

152: Kisses Гроу френд энд ай дорвэй, ай вонтид ту скрим, писфул ю чоус, зе лист, писфул, Вэй хьюман, бин ку, посибл ду зис бат, ай d i beat, the inside of my chick and let my lawyer так one point, my ex adjusted i really should move out of the.

153: How quickly from my own well being that it wasnt хэлпи фо ми the stay somewhere with so many bad memories, хи Фрейндт, эс консерн энд фор ванн, н i almost believed it because thats экзакли ха и works it puts on a soft water and call it self кайне.

154: Then the lies came up and his face tighten, and i remember he didnt care about my heart, all he care about access the session ended with nothing резолт бикоз, хи вонтед, фар мор, зен хи дезерд, and i was far too angry to hand it to him, i work out to my car and soul the woman лининг агент.

155: Outside, чекинг nails like she was bored when she look up she мауд, самсинг, лайк гуд лак and the fake свитнес, мэйд ми Ван ту скрим, ай дровей, грипин зе Вил, to хард шейкинг, энд андерстенд, зэт зей виз, гоинг ту би ноу, quick, clean, эндинг джаст манс of this.

156: It never turned in to экал чарджерс овер зе слэп вич саундс вайлд бат найзер оф the one that night of the party тернд ИНН ту a public record with a dozen витнесс дискрайб н in detail, экзакли вай Хиз джуниор анали тэд бинат Хиз берсдей ай и his promotion партии ин зе.

157: Plays his lawyer, but the slap up in a hearing that way, someone points out a stain on your short look it this and my стамик драпт из i want Ван момент to do find my bad, then my lawyer комли аст хау мани витнесс с have been present that night and the hold рум шифт и because the war so many.

158: So many people who had watch him kiss his мистерс ин фронт оф Хиз вайф энд из он mother so many people who had hurt him just fire out loud so many people who could confirm that woman had провод ми ин май, он дорвэй, ай хэйт ит зет и came down to that to witness to prove to.

159: Dating my on reality, but i also felt this dream градит ю зэт май humiliation, хэд хэпенд ИНН phone of a crowd, it meant he could never as light me alone in a ква рум somewhere in the metal of all, but i started going to a файненсиз бикоз зе ворс форс из u two.

160: Numbers you spend your whole marriage avoiding it didnt feel like снупинг, ит, сет, лайк, сервайвл, Дурин, зе файнэншл, disclosure when my lawyer, requested, the full list of accounts and text documents самфинг, серфис, зет, ай, диднт, рекогнайз, серет сейвингс, аккаунт, андер, Хиз нейм нот a cup.

161: Hundred dollars a lot to while away all those years i thought we were being careful and responsible all those times, i was told we could for vacation куд фор Диннер, аут куд форд фо ми и go back to school he been building himself прайвет Кушин энд ай бин ливинг он face i.

162: Teaching table with the papers спред аут энд франд оф ми n i start, id, лафинг энд then, i said краинг энд, then, i did Бо ванс лайк a person in a break down, монтаж, эксепт зе из no music just me and the law хам оф зе рефрижерейшн, н i confronted him to the lawyers here.

163: Like i was a crime, i в hero and i и ii войти have to be responsible ай вонт ту скрим самван хэв ту би респонсибл энд ту хим хординг мани хом конфетти энд.

164: My career to him responsible и finding his on escape the whole thing. Took. Seven months севен манс of meetings, докьюментс, дейтс вейтинг фор хим ту респонд, вейтинг фор май. Он live to be allowed to re start in the end we are.

165: Portion of what hit us away, i got one of the cars, i got a of some property, it was and a fair trade for the years, i handed over not even close, but it was something it was enough to breathe without feelings, like i was going under тудэй, finalized ай сад in my car, outside the core, hours and jazz.

166: Out the wind i expect it to feel free инстэд, ай фелт холлоу лайк l been holding my so long i how экшели, Фил май лонгс, Хиз Мазер, сквиз, май хэнд, ю дид ит ши сэд софтли, ай но ит е, i said, i did a couple of weeks later, i took my.

167: Trip alone in морден эдеке нафинг глэме э смол таун, он the cost a cheap рентал зе кайнд оф плэйс ве ю can work outside and more salt and pretend фо э мин зэт её life is in in pieces i сад он the stained with a пейпербэк ай берли рэд энд воч.

168: Family сплэш ин the water, and i felt this star of grief because that could of been майлаф иф хи бин э дифферент кайнд оф персон иф ай чоузен differently if any it had been fair, but then i felt something алтс андер, ни the grief зис квай стаен хоуп бикоз ай воз стил хир ай воз ин.

169: I was and gone, i was just re arrange вен ай гот бэк i did the англии work every building i апдейтит май резюме вич фелт лайк introducing myself to a stranger who happen to be my i took a part time job at a small букшоп он my friend of a friend мосли бикоз ай нид ит сам.

170: B and something to feel useful for i шелд букс энд хэлп кастумер and tried not to dwell and how i use to have much bigger plans хамблин из and андерстент из mother stayed in my life, not is my mother and la энимор technically, but as these fears олдер вумен ху э чоузен ми.

171: On sun didnt we get coffee talk about нормал финс комплейн эбаут зе the complain about го прайсе энд then Ван оф ас вуд меншин хим энд the room would go call for a second, but we didnt turn that was the difference нау нидер оф ас претенде энимор манс паст энд ай.

172: And the full time джиган энд офис world that was an глэмер бат пейтен аф фо ми the feel стэди, май дэйс, бикейм Ретин вейк ап кофи комьют, ворк home dinner эшо бэд нормал боинг хиллинг зер эр стил момент, z плайн инсайд ид ми the first time i со man who.

173: Like im in a coffee shop, and my whole body when called the first time i heard a song in a growth restore that have been playing at r Вотин энд ай хэд ту э band in my card лайк, it was cursed хиллинг, воз, невер стрит лайн ит воз мор лайк, бин файн, фор файв, дэйс энд зен фаллинг, эпарт бикоз, ай куднт файнд.

174: Mag and suddenly fell like i lost my whole life oliver again, i also went to a stretch вер ай гот abscess виз чекинг, зе вуменс, пейдж онлайн ивен за i knew it was poison i dont блокер кокер эген лайк l could control my on pain bye.

175: She posted the little watch about choosing happiness and protecting your peace and everytime i saw one i wanted to throw my phone a cross the room i hate митинг хау мач и got under my skin, but it did эвеншли ай делит зе апп фо э уайл из i finally understand i was?

176: To be hard on a random Туз дей i ran in to my ex дискаунт стор нот mac just terrible тайминг ин the ill with the cleaning supplies хи лук, финнер тайрд лайк реалити хэд бин лауд ин Хиз и for a while he froze Ван сами лайк хи диднт ноу вич.

177: Of me to брефор зе Ван ху тру кейк оо the one who cried on the couch май харт, джамп энд ай ком хи, он like и is about to say something maybe and maybe more and i Кадим оф симпли бай ноу спич.

178: Confrontation, ай Граб, вот i came for and left in the car my hands we Шейкин бат ай олсоу, фелл прауд бикоз ай х гивин хим э син i having гивин хим аксесс ту май эмоушенс, ай джаст пик ап май лайф and keith out the door and then one evening a friend, Смолин ай.

179: Not a magical Вэй нот n a movie they just the ending up in the same conversation they we tot we laughed хи аст ми questions that had nothing to do with my ex i cut my self смайлинг виз аут пленнинг ит энд ит дженьюэри стард ми i didnt jump in to anything.

180: I dont фолли траст май, он джаджмент anymore, but slowly i let it become something, i let a person in to my life with out, train to forced in to a tickle шейп ит воз джентл зен вот i know where it didnt feel like a performance i have to keep up me while my ex on the woman.

181: Together at least for a while the part рич ми ту мьюту, квинси ту смол таун гас апп зет трэвелс лайк it has its on legs people said су Строгин, автор бинг трансфор ту a different team that no one really wanna to work with her that she lost the shine ш юс ту ворк эраунд, виз пипл сэд май x.

182: Was and a lawyer позишен нау trying to rebuild афтер, бин файер комплейн, эбаут мани лайк it only just discovered that рент воз э риал синг, ай диднт селебрейт, ай диднт морит, изер ай джаст ноу, эстет лайк, зе юниверс слоули, левелинг самфинг аут эбаут и after the party almost экзакли.

183: Из mother came over for coffee, she look too tired, but there was something. I like she was sitting on a story, he called me, she said i. Вот now she to he ask, if he can this house from me she said, and he твитча.

184: The house i repeated because it sounded ту и to be true she, noted, he said, he green said he need some table sat here ми стейкс, сэт хи, миссис хоум ши д хоум, ай фелл май стамик, твест нот визит.

185: Клин энгер Бо хи Ван хи трон эвэй окос хи Вон комфорт хи олвейс, treated as a given what do you? He him i ask are knowing his mother, сэттер кап даун энд и forward i tal хим ноу ши сэд симпл is that i told him i remember the way he.

186: Akin to this house, with r on his arm. I remember how he spoke to you i remember how he spoke to me, i told him he can rebuild his life all he wants, but he going to do with out using mine as a safety l let out the bad, i had and no light бин холдинг сенк ю l said квали ши вейв.

187: Like she didnt want that градит ут im not doing it for you she said, but her eyes софен айм дуинг ит из he needs to learn that love is, and a Промин слип ту, херт пипл and then came calling back for comfort вен ит стоп спинг фан ви сад in the kitchen and talk about нормал сингс эген.

188: Z. N. Sync i know people always ask this part, no i didnt stay in that house forever, i rented from his mother just long of to get steady on my fit the move in to my own small place, клосер ту ворк, and the person i start seeing вор тэйкинг, итс слоу зетс ол а right now.

189: And for once im letting that been off, i dont feel драматик эбаут, энни эффеет, ай донт Фил зе нид ту мейк э speech i just felt this quite certain и like a line had been drawn on the ground and i was finely стэндинг, он the other side of it later that night, i stood in my on living room and i start about the room war people.

190: Head wont show it супрайз хау бэдли, ай Вона ту мейк май хазбенд, Фил celebrated хау ай вонт ит хим ту файнали, Фил лайк энаф энд хау хи рипей ол оф ит виз зе мост, паблик юмилия оф май лайф, ай сорт эбаут, зе парт оф ми зэт хэд, блий, май селф, фо ерс, зе парт, зэт хэд, фолдит, Смоллер, энд.

191: Two fit inside his expectations and i felt this strange mix of sadness and relieve i wont tell you i форге хим бикоз, ай диднт ай вонт телл ю im grateful ит happened because i'm not, but i will tell you that i stop tryin to make сенсов ит inn a way that let him off the hook i stop.

192: 3 writing my on pain just to keep some радже пис энд ай стоп believing that loving, someone means you have to let them break you to keep them i want to bet that night in a place that was finally фоли майнд энд фор зе ферст, тайм ин лонгер, зэн ай куд ремембер, ай слэп, визаут waking up with my.

193: Hard рейсинг ноу бикоз эврисинг из perfect.